Thursday, January 26, 2006

Solitary Musings

There's always something going on with life...if it's not then for sure you are dead pal. I have things going on with my life, and whenever I am in those high speed lanes, I tend to come to a Chauraha and there I wish to get to each of the roads and explore the possibility over there...but I know that once I choose my path, I won't have the options available with me, and I might not ever find out what lay ahead in the roads I left out. All these roads show some promise and have big hoardings trying to lure me into them. It's the same cut-throat advertising campaign which they have started for selling every product, over here the product is career path or I should be more precise in terming it as a life path and the price for each is my soul. I know I have to cave in with the pressing demands which I myself demand of myself, but what would I achieve if I chose something which I believe would be good for me now turns out to be a damp squib. Would I be able to retrace my path, and choose the roads which I had looked down upon earlier ?

Let me blurt out a few things about my paths. There's one making everyone happy except me(but I might start liking it after a while, one can't be damp with all the sunshine around themselves, can they?). Then there's one which would make me happy, but I am not sure whether it would keep me happy all the time. Then there's a time tested path, which would make a few happy, few sad and as for me I realy don't know how I would be while treading that path. The last one would certainly kill 2 things in my life, which I know are pretty dear to me. The 1st and 2nd would kill one a piece. Can't I have both of the things ? Why should I be choosing ? Alas...that's not the right question, as I know that with everyone there comes a time when he has to choose, take his decisions, the decisions which would shape his life, and I am on that crossroad and the time here is running out for me to announce my chosen path. I knew this would be difficult, but as I have always been all these years, I kept on believing that I would do the right things at the right moment. May be the time to choose isn't here right now, but for sure it is in striking distance. So the question which I should be asking is What do I want ? Coz I is the one which should matter to each individual the most. Should I be selfish and take a step which would upset everyone else, even though I don't want to cause pain to anyone. Or should I play safe, and be the mean guy which I am not ? Or should I just walk where there's no reason to fear and not take care of everyone else's feeling, not even mine ?

Life used to be simple....I complicated it.

Rahul